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Monday, May 02, 2005


I left Antioch to return to California almost a week later. The night before, I hung out with a friend of mine. That we are friends is somewhat of a surprise. She used to dislike me, and I used to be scared of her. But she's one of those people who has the distinct inability to not be up-front about things, and so, a year or so later when next we met, we managed to be friendly, and realized that things weren't so bad. I didn't have the chance to hang out with her much, though, as she had had a messy break-up with one of my poker friends, and they weren't really talking. However, on the last day, she and I were both around with nobody else in the way, and not much to do.

It actually turned out very nicely that we were able to talk. She's in the same place I was in a year ago: basically graduated, but with two co-ops remaining so she wasn't able to officially walk. She also had the post graduation depression that hit me last year. It took about three extra hours to get her to hang out. I told her a story about how last year at the same time I was late to things simply because I didn't have any particular desire to be on time.

Melodramatically, she said "Roots, Rowan! What's it like to have roots?" I told her of my dream of owning bookshelves. She said she'd really like to fully decorate a room one day. She said she had five cities she was looking at moving two. I told her I had had three, and none still jumped out.

The bad was almost completely deserted. I wasn't a regular at the bar in my time at Antioch, to be certain, but every time I'd been there, it was crowded. With no Antioch students, it was dead.

The last time I was on campus, it was deserted. I had to break into my old storage space. I pulled my books and video games and assorted knick-knacks out of the empty, condemned storage space. I left behind a nicely working TV, my old Palm Pilot accidently, and an $80 drill I'd bought my ex for her stonecarving class.

The whole place was empty. I'd stayed a few days too long. But I'm stuck with that as my last memory.

My friend wasn't sure if she'd come back for graduation - her graduation - next year. I told her I wasn't sure either last year, but as the time approached, I didn't really see it as a choice. I told her I had a blast, mostly, and would try to be back next year. It appears that I'm going to be one of those who goes back every year to watch their trickle of friends finally finish.
- Rowan Kaiser, 5:15 PM
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