The Onion has seen fit to finally add a video game section to their AV Club. Good for them. However, I was not informed, and did not have the chance to apply for what, in essence, is my dream job.
To add further pain to pain, they have also added a classic game section, which is apparently written by Wil Wheaton. No, I don't know why. But the whole thing makes me cry.
Why hast thou forsaken me,