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Saturday, January 15, 2005

Sporty Sporterton

One of the fun things about being at my parents' place is that the teevee has sports on. Often. I used to think I was moving past sports, but I forgot: they're fun. And more importantly, funny.

For example, the newest fashion trend in the NBA is...pigtails. Pigtails! You've got these guys with long cornrows or dreads, who want to do something with them so they don't get in their face, so they go with pigtails. I saw a game tonight which included a player who once CHOKED HIS COACH IN PRACTICE wearing pigtails. Given that the last major fashion trend in the NBA was trying to look 'thugged out', complete with imposing tattoos and the like, I firmly applaud this move into femininity.

Also, I caught a broadcast of Sky Sports Fanzone doing a soccer game from England. I have heard of this, where the broadcasters for a match are not professionals, but rather, supporters of the two teams that were playing. It sound stupid. But it was amazing, because they hired supporters who were media-friendly. They've grown up watching these games on TV, so they know all the cliches. And then, they're completely blind to the goings on of the game. So they scream and shout at the random inanities that sports supporters tend to.
What's even better is that they're in the same booth. So they argue with one another in those idiotic ways that the best sports fans do. The only way it would be better is if at halftime they were given boxing gloves and told to have at it.
To top it all off, fans watching in England can send text messages in that get printed across the bottom of the screen, and the announcers watch and read them at the same time as the audience, and then use these equally idiotic phrases as proof that the world agrees with them, and therefore they are speaking the Gospel Sports Truth.
Gripping television. They just need pigtails.
- Rowan Kaiser, 3:55 AM
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