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Sunday, August 01, 2004

While, 'dile
You know how doing something hard might be hard the first time, but after a couple of tries it gets pretty easy? For example, I went ice skating for the first time ever the other day (It was a field trip for the kids). I was unsure if I wanted to, but then it looked really, really fun, so off I went. Besides, how am I ever going to be a hockey star if I can't skate? I wanted to go fast. Course, the first lap around I was basically holding the rail and pulling myself. By the fifth lap, though, I could skate without holding on most of the time. After 10 or so laps, I was zooming (relatively) around, and only falling when distracted. ("For the love of god, kid, don't call my name when I'm turning!!)

The same holds true for doing bad things, I think. Imagine a serial killer. I mean, thinking up a creepy schtick, picking out a victim, killing them, acting out the bizarre serial killer thing, has got to be tough the first time. But after a few victims, it's just another escort-girl-drowned-eyes-gougued-out-to-build-replica-Venus-de-Milo-and-replaced-with-Lego-men.

Somewhere inbetween these examples is my point, which is that I'm getting good at goodbyes. It's not really something that's good to be good at. Yesterday I said goodbye to two of the people I was closest to at work. In three weeks, I'll be saying goodbye to everyone here. Again. The other people at work were complaining about how frustrating it was to have to say goodbye so often. To things like that, I used to say "welcome to my life." I don't even bother anymore. Saying goodbye to everyone I know has become passe. That's so two years ago, one year ago, six months ago, two months ago. It is, however, particularly annoying recently, as I'm actually doing fairly well for myself socially. I left behind a pile of friends at Antioch, and this is going to be the first co-op I've had where the "What Can He Improve" section is not going to be "Stop being so god-damn shy!" or something to that effect. I'm especially looking forward to this fall, where I will be in an intense studying thing with 20 people for 3+ months. I'm sure friendships will be made, e-mail addresses exchanged, and goodbyes said, to no effect.
- Rowan Kaiser, 12:15 PM
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