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Saturday, December 06, 2003

Snow Day! or, Those Elitist Northeast Bastards

As most of you blog-reading types know by now, it's snowing on the east coast.

I remember being taught about weather and seasons in elementary school. The teachers would say "Well, kids, these are the seasons, and this is what happens in the seasons. Summer is hot, Fall is colder and the leaves change, winter has snow, and spring is mild and happy. March is in like a lion and out like a lamb. Etc. Etc. I'm sure you all know how it goes.

The slight problem with that is that I grew up on the west coast. Believe it or not, things are slightly different there. See, where I was, Fall and Spring were much the same. Rainy. Winter was November-February, and meant it was slightly colder with the rain. Occasionally, it might snow an inch or two. Summer was about 2 weeks between Fall and Spring where it was blisteringly hot with absolutely no rain. Other than that, the summer months were merely slightly warmer with the rain. Why, yes, I did grow up in the Pacific Northwest.

I visit my family in Sacramento for the holidays now. Winter=rain there. Rain rain rain. Not occasional rainstorms, but nonstop rain for three weeks. I wish I were exaggerating.

I've also spent several years in Colorado, which had basically two seasons. Winter, from October through April, and Summer. The primary difference being that every so often in winter it snows then disappears, and in Summer it rains then disappears every so often.

Imagine my surprise when I moved out east for college and discovered that, uh, all that bullshit they'd fed us in elementary school was actually valid. The seasons, they actually DO change around the time when they're supposed to. Winter DOES mean snow, as opposed to Fall and Spring. And so on. It was like I was suddenly let in on the secret by which New York convinces the world that it is the Capital of Everything Important. But you're not, New York! I know your game!
- Rowan Kaiser, 2:31 PM
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