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Monday, December 01, 2003

I really love your . . . braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnns

I got a hit from someone searching for "Zombie Attack" "Roman Empire." I now know the true reason that Rome fell: flesh-eating zombies. It had to be, didn't it? Obviously, Christianity introduced some strange ideas into their society, so that they stopped burning their dead, as any wise zombie-fearing society should. Then, then the lead in their aquaducts started giving them lead poisoning, or as I like to call it, "zombie poisoning," the Romans had to pull their legions back from the barbarian front to fight off flesh-eating zombies. The zombies were defeated, but not before Rome's power had shrunk to the point when the ostra, visi, and plain old goths could sack Rome for fun.

Some people like to say "She's so goth she's dead." I like to say "She's so goth she sacked Rome."

In other news, I watched the extended Two Towers (yay, more Boromir! more Faramir! more Eowyn! Still, the shield scene...ugh) tonight, and extended Fellowship last week. So I am fully prepared to be disappointed by The Return of the King in a few weeks.
- Rowan Kaiser, 3:04 AM
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