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Friday, November 21, 2003

Booty Song

Last night, Cyn and Carl and I went to a concert that consisted of cute lesbians. It was the most adorable thing ever.

First up was The Peche. Or maybe The Pesh. Or possibly The Phasche. Exactly what her name was was unclear, but she definitely had one. (EDIT: Cyn says it's the Pash, and seems to be correct) She was easily the most adorable of the adorable singers. She was Red-Hot Dork Hot. Her words and mode of speaking were shy, but her body language and dancing were not shy. She made the audience lie down for a song about "nap time" and then had the audience be her band, by clapping a rhythm and making "ch!-ch!" sounds for symbols. She ended her set with a "booty song," where she taught the audience to "booty dance" and then sang "If I wore my heart on my sleeve, would you take my shirt off and wash it?" At that point, I was not only ready to booty dance, but I was ready to volunteer to be in her band (she said she'd never managed to keep a band.)

Up next was Anna Oxygen, who was by far the most adorable of the adorable singers. Her set was based on her flights of fancy, a childlike science fiction universe of her creation. It included various superheroes, such as an old hamster of hers that had had to eat its babies (which made it a good feminist, according to Anna O.) She also had a huge, supremely ugly, early 80's keytar. She sang songs about a universe where one girl, named Pretty Psychadelic, had cones and rods in her eyes where everyone else only had rods (she could see colors and no one else could.) All of Anna Oxygen's songs took place in this bizarre internal universe that she put forth with great confidence, and they were all set to insanely catchy dance-synth-pop. One highlight was when she put a Playskool basketball hoop in the audience and started Soul Train Basketball, where the audience parted and various members had to dance down and score a basket. Sadly, the idea didn't take off too well, I think she tried it too early, and the audience was just that dorky. Then she did a song about a scientist who had test tube universes, and in one of those universes were three girls who went to the gym. So Anna, the Pash, and The Blow all changed into leotards and did two songs involving stretching and dancing together. None of them had shaved armpits, which amused me. I wonder if one of them shaved their armpits before they went on tour together, and the pressure of the other two made her cave in. It was, of course, insanely cute. The crowning achievement of her set, though, was another booty song, with the Pash up dancing with her and singing along, without a microphone, but with a big grin. It included a free-style that Anna did that was amusing for both it's amazing lack of flow, and its gratuitous rhymes with "orgy" and "in the butt."

Following that was the most adorable act, The Blow. The Blow was a band that was one person, but had a pluralized band name. Mad props for that. Where Anna Oxygen put out a show that was obviously flight of fancy, but did it confidently, The Blow's show was a subtle flight of fancy, done self-consciously and brilliantly. She started with a song she'd "only played for her boyfriend" which went "when I look at you, I see a rainbow." At that line, The Blow rolled her eyes. It was hilarious. I may have been the only person who saw that. At that point, her CD player, which we weren't supposed to know existed, stopped working, and there was a 15 minute wait while the techies and Anna Oxygen tried to fix it. According to Cyn, this technical incompetence happens at every K Records show. She invited Mirah and Anna Oxygen up to do a cappella songs while we waited, which broke the flow of her storytelling, but was insanely cute (duh). Her story of learning lesbianism, though she never said that's what it was about, it was obvious by the end, progressed eventually. Her storytelling stayed innocent and self-conscious, but her songs become more and more intensely sexual. The entire show was quite clever.

And finally Mirah came on. She was the reason that Cyn and Carl wanted to go, and obviously, was the most adorable. Her stuff isn't so interesting to talk about, though. She plays sweet, genuine songs, with no frills or backstory, just her guitar. She is also tiny. Cyn may or may not have put Mirah in her pocket and taken her home after the show. Stockholm Syndrome is the way to get people to love you, I hear.

After the show, Carl was talking about how he wanted to impregnate all of them due to their adorableness. I felt he was misinterpreting the emotion. I wanted to hang out with them and have long conversations and cuddle. If they felt like sex, I wouldn't turn them down, of course, but that wouldn't be the point. The point is the adorableness.
- Rowan Kaiser, 3:52 PM
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