Monday, July 14, 2003
Missing Persons, Exhibit A
Remember that post I made about the Ewoks? About how some event or series of events that my parents told me about in preschool had an effect, or set a template, for the rest of my social life? Same thing here.
My mom once told me a story about my "girlfriend" in preschool. The story went something like this. There was a frail or diseased girl in my preschool, and I was the guy who hung out with her. Who helped her out. I have no recollection of this, but I'm willing to assume that it's true. Like Donald Rumsfeld would say, even if the actual events didn't happen, we should proceed under the assumption that they happened, for they are likely.
So why do I bring this up? Like the Ewoks, it might have set up something I haven't been able to break out of. Sure, my dating life started innocently enough. But the girlfriends have gotten crazier and crazier. Back in the days when they weren't so crazy, I was quoted on one of their web sites saying "Do you know how attracted I am to girls with problems?" I could probably link to that. But out of kindness to the former webmistress, I won't.
You know how when you talk to prospective mates, you kind of have a rating system in your head? Mine starts getting happy when they start talking about weird stuff. Learning disabilities? You best believe I dig it. And how many diagnoses do you have . . .? Hot!
This would all make more sense if I were really fucked up. But I'm not. I have ADD, and some disthymic depressive tendencies. That's about it. But I have noticed that I tend to be interested in people who are more, hmm, excessive than I.
So somewhere out there, or maybe not, there's a girl who's name and face I can't remember, but she still manages to serve as a kind of a sad symbol for part of my life. Maybe next time I'm out dating, I won't instinctively look for the weirdest person. Maybe I won't be drawn to the self-destructive type. But probably not.
Remember that post I made about the Ewoks? About how some event or series of events that my parents told me about in preschool had an effect, or set a template, for the rest of my social life? Same thing here.
My mom once told me a story about my "girlfriend" in preschool. The story went something like this. There was a frail or diseased girl in my preschool, and I was the guy who hung out with her. Who helped her out. I have no recollection of this, but I'm willing to assume that it's true. Like Donald Rumsfeld would say, even if the actual events didn't happen, we should proceed under the assumption that they happened, for they are likely.
So why do I bring this up? Like the Ewoks, it might have set up something I haven't been able to break out of. Sure, my dating life started innocently enough. But the girlfriends have gotten crazier and crazier. Back in the days when they weren't so crazy, I was quoted on one of their web sites saying "Do you know how attracted I am to girls with problems?" I could probably link to that. But out of kindness to the former webmistress, I won't.
You know how when you talk to prospective mates, you kind of have a rating system in your head? Mine starts getting happy when they start talking about weird stuff. Learning disabilities? You best believe I dig it. And how many diagnoses do you have . . .? Hot!
This would all make more sense if I were really fucked up. But I'm not. I have ADD, and some disthymic depressive tendencies. That's about it. But I have noticed that I tend to be interested in people who are more, hmm, excessive than I.
So somewhere out there, or maybe not, there's a girl who's name and face I can't remember, but she still manages to serve as a kind of a sad symbol for part of my life. Maybe next time I'm out dating, I won't instinctively look for the weirdest person. Maybe I won't be drawn to the self-destructive type. But probably not.