Monday, June 23, 2003
whimper
sooo . . . shiny . . . But cheap.
I . . . can afford it? I just have to deposit my checks and I can afford it?
I don't understand this whole "having money" thing. Most of my life has been spent in a household where needs were provided for, but wants had to be fought for. Luxuries had to be obtianed through careful negotiation, or really boring/difficult work. So money has taken on a strange sort of value in my mind that it needs to have meaning. I can't just go to Amazon and pull out my card and buy 10 things I want (even though I can). That's . . . cheating.
This is all very silly and my poor impulse control might just bypass it, except I've also spent way too much time in the anti-capitalist indoctrination camp that is Antioch College, and a part of my brain also says "you know . . . buying that $50 video game is going to cause a $200 increase in America's GDP, and important people are going to think that we live in a better country because you have to buy your happiness." I do have to admit that this would be the largest purchase I've ever made of my own money. The laptop can hopefully be justified on the terms that, no matter what I end up doing in my life, writing damn well better be part of it, and I need a computer for that. And I can achieve happiness via the Internet!
sooo . . . shiny . . . But cheap.
I . . . can afford it? I just have to deposit my checks and I can afford it?
I don't understand this whole "having money" thing. Most of my life has been spent in a household where needs were provided for, but wants had to be fought for. Luxuries had to be obtianed through careful negotiation, or really boring/difficult work. So money has taken on a strange sort of value in my mind that it needs to have meaning. I can't just go to Amazon and pull out my card and buy 10 things I want (even though I can). That's . . . cheating.
This is all very silly and my poor impulse control might just bypass it, except I've also spent way too much time in the anti-capitalist indoctrination camp that is Antioch College, and a part of my brain also says "you know . . . buying that $50 video game is going to cause a $200 increase in America's GDP, and important people are going to think that we live in a better country because you have to buy your happiness." I do have to admit that this would be the largest purchase I've ever made of my own money. The laptop can hopefully be justified on the terms that, no matter what I end up doing in my life, writing damn well better be part of it, and I need a computer for that. And I can achieve happiness via the Internet!