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Thursday, June 05, 2003

A Brief History of My Geekdom

I blame Ewoks for my lack of social skills. Seriously. Those little fuzzy bastards ruined my life.

The story goes like this. When Return of the Jedi came out, I was in preschool. Every other kid in the class loved Ewoks. How could they not? They were cute, fuzzy, and their mothers would sew them Ewok costumes before the movie even came out. But not Rowan. Nooooo sir. Rowan stood against the Ewoks. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't like the Ewoks. When telling this story, I usually say that, even as a three-year-old, I could recognize that the Ewoks were nothing but a cynical marketing plot who held the movies back. This is possible, I suppose. I could have just been scared of the damn things. I was pretty easily scared as a child. But I don't remember that. What I suspect is that my parents recognized them as a cynical marketing ploy, and I internalized that to make them love me.

But whatever it was, the point is that my dislike of the perfect children's marketing ploy led me to be ostracized from my peers. I believe that this started me down a path of disliking popular things for the sheer fact that they were popular, and believing that everyone hated me because I was different.

It's not exactly an air-tight theory. But it sure sounds nice to be able to say "Ewoks ruined my social life!"
- Rowan Kaiser, 1:51 PM
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