Friday, April 30, 2004
Nothing to see here
Been a bit over a week since I blogged, huh? Dunno what there's been to say, really. All I've done is help redesign my school, make a presentation in front of the entire faculty, say goodbye to my friends one by one, have the super-senior-party watch the graduation that was almost-but-not-quite mine get hijacked (twice), make my friends unhappy by breaking a promise I couldn't fulfill, finish my senior project, pack, pack, pack, say goodbye to more friends, take pictures of everything, continue redesigning the school, buy a plane ticket the day before it left, and come to Philadelphia a mere 5 hours before my favorite band showed up for a concert (hey, nice timing). Through it all, I've been getting plane tickets, international ID, passport, and a work permit for my job in England. Which all showed up at Cyn's place, along with me, yesterday. Good timing again.
Been a bit over a week since I blogged, huh? Dunno what there's been to say, really. All I've done is help redesign my school, make a presentation in front of the entire faculty, say goodbye to my friends one by one, have the super-senior-party watch the graduation that was almost-but-not-quite mine get hijacked (twice), make my friends unhappy by breaking a promise I couldn't fulfill, finish my senior project, pack, pack, pack, say goodbye to more friends, take pictures of everything, continue redesigning the school, buy a plane ticket the day before it left, and come to Philadelphia a mere 5 hours before my favorite band showed up for a concert (hey, nice timing). Through it all, I've been getting plane tickets, international ID, passport, and a work permit for my job in England. Which all showed up at Cyn's place, along with me, yesterday. Good timing again.
- Unknown, 10:33 AM
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
With Friends Like Blah Blah Blah Pigfuckers
So it turns out that my phone was exactly where it probably was the entire time. It's just that when I initially called it, some of my friends thought it would be funny to turn it off and so let me not find out where it was. Hilarious! Especially the part where they never did let me in on the joke! In fact, they're out of town by now.
These are some of the friends I didn't particularly miss.
So it turns out that my phone was exactly where it probably was the entire time. It's just that when I initially called it, some of my friends thought it would be funny to turn it off and so let me not find out where it was. Hilarious! Especially the part where they never did let me in on the joke! In fact, they're out of town by now.
These are some of the friends I didn't particularly miss.
- Unknown, 7:25 PM
Monday, April 19, 2004
Victory
Done diddy done done, done done d-done done, all the little Rowans are done done d-done done!
Done diddy done done, done done d-done done, all the little Rowans are done done d-done done!
- Unknown, 6:44 PM
Fame and Fortune
I'm not sure what I want with this website. I mean, it's public, so I kind of want people to read it, right? But events have happened in the last few weeks to make me not so certain I want people to read it, and I'm not talking about the link to the dress picture. I blogged about the POC takeover, and the KKK coming to Antioch almost immediately after it happened, so anyone googling the event could find my site with ease. And they have. I'm still on the front page of many searches. I noticed this in my referral logs for a few days, but then discovered that someone else had blogged about it, using my words and linking to my site. I attempted to engage him in discussion via e-mail, and he responding on his website, again linking to me, this time by name. I decided not to continue the discussion, but what's on his site is on his site.
His website has now been posted on Antioch's e-mail discussion list. Meaning that plenty of Antioch students, faculty, and staff could quite easily find their way here. Hello! Please leave a comment so I know who visited so I can prepare my legal defense.
The googling has also led the editor of a website on "anti-white racism" to leave a comment for me. Lovely.
Anyway. To all my new friends. Enjoy the picture of me in a dress! Marvel at my senior project-induced rantings! Leave comments about how cool I am! Please don't hurt me!
I'm not sure what I want with this website. I mean, it's public, so I kind of want people to read it, right? But events have happened in the last few weeks to make me not so certain I want people to read it, and I'm not talking about the link to the dress picture. I blogged about the POC takeover, and the KKK coming to Antioch almost immediately after it happened, so anyone googling the event could find my site with ease. And they have. I'm still on the front page of many searches. I noticed this in my referral logs for a few days, but then discovered that someone else had blogged about it, using my words and linking to my site. I attempted to engage him in discussion via e-mail, and he responding on his website, again linking to me, this time by name. I decided not to continue the discussion, but what's on his site is on his site.
His website has now been posted on Antioch's e-mail discussion list. Meaning that plenty of Antioch students, faculty, and staff could quite easily find their way here. Hello! Please leave a comment so I know who visited so I can prepare my legal defense.
The googling has also led the editor of a website on "anti-white racism" to leave a comment for me. Lovely.
Anyway. To all my new friends. Enjoy the picture of me in a dress! Marvel at my senior project-induced rantings! Leave comments about how cool I am! Please don't hurt me!
- Unknown, 1:56 AM
Sunday, April 18, 2004
- Unknown, 1:13 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2004
The Finish Line
Suddenly, I'm virtually done with my senior project.
Suddenly, I just have to bite down and conclude it, and then write 5 more pages or so in another paper, and I'm done with Antioch College. Well, done with schoolwork while here. 10 pages or so to write. A week left with my friends.
I'm not sure if I can do it. It might be that it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon*. But my mind keeps wandering to what it's like to not be here, now. They're comfortable places, perhaps, but not as happy as I might want them to be.
At least I know what I'm doing in the short term and have plans for the long term.
*the slight exception to the "beautiful Saturday" is that this happens to be the Saturday that the Klan is holding their literature drive or rally or whatever the hell it is in town. I decided to celebrate by staying in my room and doing a paper on Black Power.
Suddenly, I'm virtually done with my senior project.
Suddenly, I just have to bite down and conclude it, and then write 5 more pages or so in another paper, and I'm done with Antioch College. Well, done with schoolwork while here. 10 pages or so to write. A week left with my friends.
I'm not sure if I can do it. It might be that it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon*. But my mind keeps wandering to what it's like to not be here, now. They're comfortable places, perhaps, but not as happy as I might want them to be.
At least I know what I'm doing in the short term and have plans for the long term.
*the slight exception to the "beautiful Saturday" is that this happens to be the Saturday that the Klan is holding their literature drive or rally or whatever the hell it is in town. I decided to celebrate by staying in my room and doing a paper on Black Power.
- Unknown, 3:28 PM
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
My Summer Job
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, an' go it alone
London calling upon the zombies of death
Quit holding out-and draw another breath
London calling-and I don't wanna shout
But when we were talking-I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no highs
Except for that one with the yellowy eyes
Guess who's going to England?
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, an' go it alone
London calling upon the zombies of death
Quit holding out-and draw another breath
London calling-and I don't wanna shout
But when we were talking-I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no highs
Except for that one with the yellowy eyes
Guess who's going to England?
- Unknown, 3:21 PM
Monday, April 12, 2004
- Unknown, 1:08 AM
Sunday, April 11, 2004
I Hate This Week
Gotta do my last paper for my two classes. 15 pages on religious experience. Ugh. But worse than that right now is my paper on Marx and social class. It's supposed to be, like, 2-3 pages. And it's about Marx and social class, which is pretty much redundant, right? I can churn that out in an hour, right? It's been six. It's so obvious I can't figure out how to do it. Transparancy obscures.
Then there's the senior project. Gotta get a complete draft in by Friday. It's 38 pages right now. I'm probably halfway done. Is that forty pages in five days? I think it is!
And I have to work on getting a job. Out of the country. In the next week and a half. Then figure out plane tickets and so forth. Get up early for an interview, probably.
I should, perhaps, have done my taxes before now as well, and I think I'm missing half of the things I need. It's definitely something I should do, as I'll probably be getting money back, but I gotta find the time...
But after Friday, I'm gold, right? It's party time. The last weekend of the semester before graduation and Senior Party. That means Div, where everyone's happy, relieved, gonna miss each other, and there's free pizza and drinks, and....what? It's canceled? The KKK is coming again?
But on the bright side.......well, fuck.
Gotta do my last paper for my two classes. 15 pages on religious experience. Ugh. But worse than that right now is my paper on Marx and social class. It's supposed to be, like, 2-3 pages. And it's about Marx and social class, which is pretty much redundant, right? I can churn that out in an hour, right? It's been six. It's so obvious I can't figure out how to do it. Transparancy obscures.
Then there's the senior project. Gotta get a complete draft in by Friday. It's 38 pages right now. I'm probably halfway done. Is that forty pages in five days? I think it is!
And I have to work on getting a job. Out of the country. In the next week and a half. Then figure out plane tickets and so forth. Get up early for an interview, probably.
I should, perhaps, have done my taxes before now as well, and I think I'm missing half of the things I need. It's definitely something I should do, as I'll probably be getting money back, but I gotta find the time...
But after Friday, I'm gold, right? It's party time. The last weekend of the semester before graduation and Senior Party. That means Div, where everyone's happy, relieved, gonna miss each other, and there's free pizza and drinks, and....what? It's canceled? The KKK is coming again?
But on the bright side.......well, fuck.
- Unknown, 8:14 PM
In Other News
I have two weeks left of college. Well, regular-living-in-dorms-with-all-your-friends weeks. The thought does not best please me.
I have two weeks left of college. Well, regular-living-in-dorms-with-all-your-friends weeks. The thought does not best please me.
- Unknown, 6:41 PM
And I've Still Never Worn A Tie
Last night was perhaps the star attraction of Antioch's social scene, the Genderfuck party - also known as The Excuse to Put on Crazy Makeup and Wear Very Little Clothing party. Most of my friends, who had promised to doll me up, had too much work and stayed home. Nevertheless, a bit of improvisation and luck managed to get me a simple, classy outfit topped off by a dark red wig. When I walked in, another guy in a prom dress said to me: "Dammit, Rowan, when I got here I was the prom queen, but you're fucking Marylin."
....and I bet y'all think you're getting pictures.
Last night was perhaps the star attraction of Antioch's social scene, the Genderfuck party - also known as The Excuse to Put on Crazy Makeup and Wear Very Little Clothing party. Most of my friends, who had promised to doll me up, had too much work and stayed home. Nevertheless, a bit of improvisation and luck managed to get me a simple, classy outfit topped off by a dark red wig. When I walked in, another guy in a prom dress said to me: "Dammit, Rowan, when I got here I was the prom queen, but you're fucking Marylin."
....and I bet y'all think you're getting pictures.
- Unknown, 6:40 PM
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Posting at 4:10 AM
I'm staying up all night tonight. See, I signed up for this curricular design committee. Antioch is planning on undergoing some serious restructuring in a few years, and it's always been my dream to help design a school. Seriously. I am all about the education theory (and by all about, I mean I'm interested enough to get excited when it's right in front of my nose, but I never actually took a class or read a book about it....). But, I'm probably leaving in a few weeks, so I had to join this committee to have even a chance at getting my input it. Unfortunately, this is an April group, and has several meetings. Since there's about 10 of us, finding free time for meetings was difficult, and included....sigh...two Thursday 7:30-9:30 AM meetings. I argued and whined and made a scene of myself, but alas, it was not to be.
Since I usually stay up til 3 or 4AM these days, and need to sit down and do a baker's shitload of senior project, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and stay up all night so I'm manic instead of exhausted for the meeting, and can put a serious dent in the S-to-the-P. Working so far. May need more Coke. No, not that coke.
Thankfully, my Thursday schedule only includes a single gym class in the afternoon. I should be able to take a nap and then stagger in. Or I miss it and make it up.
I'm staying up all night tonight. See, I signed up for this curricular design committee. Antioch is planning on undergoing some serious restructuring in a few years, and it's always been my dream to help design a school. Seriously. I am all about the education theory (and by all about, I mean I'm interested enough to get excited when it's right in front of my nose, but I never actually took a class or read a book about it....). But, I'm probably leaving in a few weeks, so I had to join this committee to have even a chance at getting my input it. Unfortunately, this is an April group, and has several meetings. Since there's about 10 of us, finding free time for meetings was difficult, and included....sigh...two Thursday 7:30-9:30 AM meetings. I argued and whined and made a scene of myself, but alas, it was not to be.
Since I usually stay up til 3 or 4AM these days, and need to sit down and do a baker's shitload of senior project, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and stay up all night so I'm manic instead of exhausted for the meeting, and can put a serious dent in the S-to-the-P. Working so far. May need more Coke. No, not that coke.
Thankfully, my Thursday schedule only includes a single gym class in the afternoon. I should be able to take a nap and then stagger in. Or I miss it and make it up.
- Unknown, 4:17 AM
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Fortune Cookies Answer All Your Worries
Here I am, sitting around complaining about the massive amounts of work I have to do, and I say "maybe my fortune cookie will aid me!" So I open it and it says "Through greater effort and hard work a precious dream comes true."
Fucking cookie. Hard work is what I DON'T want.
Here I am, sitting around complaining about the massive amounts of work I have to do, and I say "maybe my fortune cookie will aid me!" So I open it and it says "Through greater effort and hard work a precious dream comes true."
Fucking cookie. Hard work is what I DON'T want.
- Unknown, 10:59 PM
Love, anti-American style
"I swore not to say it unless you said it first."
"So did I, asshole!"
"Fine, I love you, jackass."
"I love you too, you big dummy."
(paraphrased)
This is the way it should be.
"I swore not to say it unless you said it first."
"So did I, asshole!"
"Fine, I love you, jackass."
"I love you too, you big dummy."
(paraphrased)
This is the way it should be.
- Unknown, 4:11 AM
Saturday, April 03, 2004
Postmodernism, not randomly generated
Or rather, the lack thereof. I've just realized that I've gone pretty much the last three months with virtually no conventional media-based narrative. I've seen two movies, one of which was hardly a Hollywood blockbuster. (The other was such a conventional piece of storytelling that I had the entire thing mapped out before it was a third finished) I think I've seen a couple episodes of Family Guy. And the video games I've played have typically been multiplayer, devoid of context other than the game. I've read no fiction.
In other words, the idea of storytelling is, in my head, becoming detached from conventions of storytelling. Turns out the music doesn't swell at all in that last hand of poker. And the person who deserves to win doesn't always. I mean, my friend Viktor had a royal flush, and he lost that game!
Then there's all this interacting with people without the veneer of references to things that don't physically exist. Creepy as hell. Sometimes you come up with things on the spot that they laugh at!
I came to this realization as I was typing away last night, listening to music, and one of the songs started with a note or two that sounded like the town music from Diablo. Now, for some of y'all, that's gonna be meaningless, but some of you will be nodding your heads in agreement. "Yep. That song. Puts me immediately in a space and time." But it does even more than that. It sets the stage. It says "you're safe now, but bad things will be happening. Things are tragically Ominous." It's immediate context. You know the shape of what will happen, even though you don't know its actuality. We read this, watch this, play this constantly. And I'm losing it.
I don't really have any analysis of what this will do to me. So I got the computer to do it for me:
If one examines the neocapitalist paradigm of narrative, one is faced with a choice: either accept textual modernism or conclude that the law is capable of truth, but only if truth is interchangeable with sexuality.
Or rather, the lack thereof. I've just realized that I've gone pretty much the last three months with virtually no conventional media-based narrative. I've seen two movies, one of which was hardly a Hollywood blockbuster. (The other was such a conventional piece of storytelling that I had the entire thing mapped out before it was a third finished) I think I've seen a couple episodes of Family Guy. And the video games I've played have typically been multiplayer, devoid of context other than the game. I've read no fiction.
In other words, the idea of storytelling is, in my head, becoming detached from conventions of storytelling. Turns out the music doesn't swell at all in that last hand of poker. And the person who deserves to win doesn't always. I mean, my friend Viktor had a royal flush, and he lost that game!
Then there's all this interacting with people without the veneer of references to things that don't physically exist. Creepy as hell. Sometimes you come up with things on the spot that they laugh at!
I came to this realization as I was typing away last night, listening to music, and one of the songs started with a note or two that sounded like the town music from Diablo. Now, for some of y'all, that's gonna be meaningless, but some of you will be nodding your heads in agreement. "Yep. That song. Puts me immediately in a space and time." But it does even more than that. It sets the stage. It says "you're safe now, but bad things will be happening. Things are tragically Ominous." It's immediate context. You know the shape of what will happen, even though you don't know its actuality. We read this, watch this, play this constantly. And I'm losing it.
I don't really have any analysis of what this will do to me. So I got the computer to do it for me:
If one examines the neocapitalist paradigm of narrative, one is faced with a choice: either accept textual modernism or conclude that the law is capable of truth, but only if truth is interchangeable with sexuality.
- Unknown, 2:28 AM
Friday, April 02, 2004
Internet Game Rock Star
Oh. Yeah. Look at that high score. 360. Top ball-clicker of the last week. (I'm also there in 13th place.)
This is why I unplug my internet when doing my senior project.
.
.
.
.
.
FIRST PLACE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh. Yeah. Look at that high score. 360. Top ball-clicker of the last week. (I'm also there in 13th place.)
This is why I unplug my internet when doing my senior project.
.
.
.
.
.
FIRST PLACE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
- Unknown, 8:10 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
My Senior Project
In honor of my senior project advisor telling me to have the Stokely Carmichael half of my project tomorrow, and me having done four pages of it, I have composed a brief song to describe the rest of my day:
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Expect me to be shouting this for the next 12 hours or so.
In honor of my senior project advisor telling me to have the Stokely Carmichael half of my project tomorrow, and me having done four pages of it, I have composed a brief song to describe the rest of my day:
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Rowan and Stokely, sitting in a tree
W-R-I-T-I-N-G
First comes NAG, then comes SNCC
then comes Black Power and an angry message
Expect me to be shouting this for the next 12 hours or so.
- Unknown, 6:32 PM
Oh, Self-Parody
"Thus, if structural capitalism holds, we have to choose between socialist realism and the dialectic paradigm of context. Marx promotes the use of dialectic neocultural theory to deconstruct sexual identity."
What does this mean to you? It's fascinating, isn't it? I can almost even make out what it means. I mean, give me half an hour and I'll be able to tell you why this is so fascinating and important.
Problem is, it's a randomly generated post-modernism essay. Here, try it out. Amaze your friends. After all, Foucault says "Class is part of the failure of art!"
"Thus, if structural capitalism holds, we have to choose between socialist realism and the dialectic paradigm of context. Marx promotes the use of dialectic neocultural theory to deconstruct sexual identity."
What does this mean to you? It's fascinating, isn't it? I can almost even make out what it means. I mean, give me half an hour and I'll be able to tell you why this is so fascinating and important.
Problem is, it's a randomly generated post-modernism essay. Here, try it out. Amaze your friends. After all, Foucault says "Class is part of the failure of art!"